Akane
by Wolfspirit44
Summary: She lives on, in their daughter. Jerza request. Oneshot


**A/N: this oneshot is a combined request from** soulasunajellal **and** Sarah scarletxX **. It's taken me a long time to write, but I think you will enjoy it. I'll post it on tumblr later for you as well.**

* * *

 **Akane**

 _ **"This burning pain in my heart will never fade, just as my love for you will always continue to burn brightly."**_

* * *

She is eight months into her pregnancy when the worst happens.

Sitting at the table, after the dinner dishes have been cleared, with Jellal, her husband and love, she muses about her life so far, and thanks the gods for giving her such a perfect man to be the father of their unborn child. Her eyes rove over his handsome features while he reads the _Magnolia Tribune_ , locking onto the dark blue of his hair and the contrasting red of his tattoo. He so handsome, despite the dark circles under his eyes from countless sleepless nights due to her pregnancy. Still, despite her waking him up every hour or so with relentless back pains and late night cravings, he still manages to look like a son of the gods.

She looks at his blue hair, watching as it tickles the back of his neck. It should be cut soon, but she likes the long hair on him, and vaguely wonders how he'd look in a ponytail. If any man can pull it off, he could.

He shifts, and she watches the powerful muscles of his chest and shoulders roll as he moves. The strength he possesses is enough to pose a threat to any guild, but he is gentle around her, and with her. She's spent countless nights nestled in those strong arms, protected against his warm chest. She is safe with him.

She clears his throat. "Jellal," she says, pulling his attention away from the news. He looks up, a frown decorating his handsome face as he drops the paper and takes on of her hands. He looks at her with such doting concern that, in Erza's hormonal state, she feels tears at the corners of her eyes.

"Are you okay, love?" he asks her, his voice gruff with care as he leans forward, rubbing her knuckles with his calloused fingers. She closes her eyes in content as he massages her hands. "Is it the-"

"I was thinking about names for our baby, for her," she whispers. He freezes, but before he can voice his opinion she cuts him off. "I know you wanted to wait, Jellal. Up until this point, I was completely fine with having her be nameless until her birth, but now I just don't feel comfortable. She's living inside me, Jellal, and in a month she'll be in our arms. I want know her name, to say her name, when I can finally hold her in my arms."

She fought with decision for several months, dedicating several sleepless nights to dwell on it. But at last her decision was final, and now she wants to name her daughter, so she can properly greet her when she is brought into the world.

Jellal looks deep into her eyes, studying her thoughtfully. Erza knows that this must be hard for him. He'd originally wanted to see his daughter properly before giving her a name, much like how he'd done the same for Erza. But at the same time, he is conscientious of her needs and is willing to do anything for her.

He sighs. "Okay," he whispers. "I understand."

She smiles and leans forward, meaning to kiss his lips, when a burning pain scorches her abdomen, making her shut her eyes and hiss in a startled gasp. Jellal is immediately alert, out of his chair and at her side in a heartbeat, kneeling down and anxiously putting a soft hand to her belly, which she clenches, and realizes is the source of her pain.

"Erza, love, what's wrong?" he asks her desperately, letting her clench his hand and moan while the pain continues to wrack her body. She is quiet despite the agony, only emitting the slightest of moans, her strength as Titania shining through. And Jellal is ever so patient- as well as anxious- with her, holding her hand and rubbing her back soothingly. One eye is glued to her fragile form, the other glued to the lacrima phone sitting on the kitchen counter several feet away. Porlyuscia gave it to the young couple when Erza entered her fifth month in case something went wrong. He always prayed that he'd never have to use it, but now, he fears.

The pain passes- not quite, she notices. It's still there, as it's fading, like a shadow of itself moments ago. She figures it's the baby, since she's getting restless and cooped up inside Erza's confined body. No doubt the baby wants to be out, with a spirit like that. She has her mama's spirit and her papa's fire, that is explicitly clear.

"It's fine," Erza croaks, cautiously letting go of Jellal's hand. "The baby has some pretty powerful kicks nowadays. I'm fine." She shoos him away, but he lingers for a moment, his concerned gaze locked on her trembling form. He seems convinced that it's something more, but Erza has endured worse pain than this, and she does not want Jellal to stress.

"Are you sure?" he asks, but she waves him off, giving him a smile.

"I'm fine. The pain is gone now. I really should be used to this by now."

"Are you sure?" he asks for the second time. "I could fetch Porly-"

"I want to name our baby something to do with light," she whispers, changing the subject, knowing it'll make him focus. And it does. He stops talking, his eyes burning with concern before he sits down, keeping his eyes traced on her form.

"Light?" he whispers. "That's an interesting topic to choose. What brought this on?"

"You once told me that my words were your reason that you found your courage. And that my words were the light that would lead you to to the right path again. You were in a dark place when you uttered those words to me, Jellal. But now I know that you've found that path, Jellal. Our relationship was always built on trust and light. So I want our daughter to be a testament of our love."

He freezes, his eyes filling with memories. He remembers Nirvana clearly, despite having amnesia back then. Seeing the pain on Erza's face had nearly ripped his heart out. But he remembers her, confronting Midnight despite the vast differences in their power, full of her own internal light. Seeing her like that made him realize how precious she was to his redemption.

It is still hard for him to believe that she married him, despite what happened to them in the past. After all they had gone through- hell, after what _she_ had gone through, dealing with his darkness and his depravity- she'd still stayed by his side. He tried to kill her, to sacrifice her to Zeref, but here she is today, married to him. He still can't believe that She is carrying his child, his beautiful baby girl. He thanks the heavens above everyday for blessing him with this angel who gave him his life back. She is his salvation, and a reminder of that every day.

"What do you have in mind?" he asks her softly, tears forming in his eyes, warmed that she still believes in him. "There are hundreds of names that deal with light."

"I was thinking maybe-"

She breaks off suddenly, closing her eyes and hissing in pain. It's the same pain as before, except it's much more painful; harsh and wrenching, like it's tearing her in half. She tries to hold it in, but the tears flowing out of her eyes say otherwise. She grits her teeth as she is rent in two by the pain, and cannot hold out. She screams out, slipping off the chair as Jellal dives for her, shouting her name. She collapses into his arms, her hair pooling around her like a puddle of blood.

She feels a warm wetness pooling around her legs, dripping down the inside of her thigh. She frowns, and looks up into Jellal's eyes as he looks at her lower half. He reaches for her thigh, and she feels him press his fingers to her skin before bringing them to his eyesight is getting bleary from the pain, her mind fuzzy and overwhelmed, and she focuses as Jellal's eyes widen in horror. Because his fingers are drenched in blood.

Her blood.

He turns back to her, his eyes full of pain and fear. He calls her name, but she doesn't hear it. She is fading in and out of consciousness and she barely makes out his mouth, whispering her name one more time. Then it is replaced with another wave of pain rips her in half and she succumbs into the welcoming darkness that surrounds her like a warm blanket.

* * *

She wakes up blearily, the pain actually wrenching her out of her subconscious dreams. Immediately, she tries to scream, but she is too weak to utter a single noise. She can't focus; it seems like her eyesight is fading, but she can make out bright, white light. There is a beeping sound in the background, like white noise. Blurry shapes surround her, and she can vaguely make out the familiar look of doctor scrubs.

There are too many voices, too many drowning noises. In her bleary state, inundated with pain, she can only make out a few, intelligible words.

"...She's flatlining."

"Heart rate is rapidly slowing!"

"Oxygen levels below normal!"

"The baby is losing oxygen...the mother can not sustain vital nutrients to it,"

"Get her to the OR now!"

"Erza!"

She hears the familiar scream of Jellal and struggles to stay awake, to tell him that she's here, that she's alive. That she is ok, and that she needs him. She moves her head slightly as the cot below her moves, and she can barely make out Jellal struggling in the entrance of a doorway, his front covered in smears of blood. There is a panicked look in his eyes, and he is reaching out desperately towards her while a man in a white coat holds him back.

"Erza!" he screams as he's pushed back. "I love you! Hang in there, love, please!"

"This baby has to come out now, otherwise it's going to kill itself and the mother," an elderly female voice says, closeby, as Jellal is shoved through the doors and disappears. "And then that blue haired freak is going to go ballistic."

The baby is dying inside of her.

She struggles to keep her eyes open, but another wave of pain washes over her and pulls her back down into the dark. She cries out for help, but no one comes to help her. Not even Jellal. She is alone.

It is then, that she thinks of the name of her daughter.

* * *

If seeing Erza lying in a puddle of blood didn't kill him, than the wait surely will. He's sitting in the hospital waiting room, anxiously tapping the floor with his heels, his eyes glued onto the doors they wheeled Erza through. She looked so deathly still, lying there, helpless and vulnerable, but he wasn't allowed in the operation room, much to his dismay. A nurse gave him a quick rundown: the placenta connecting baby to mother somehow wrapped around the fetus, cutting off oxygen and nutrients to the baby as well as causing a blood clot in Erza. Of course, that only made Jellal even more desperate to get to his wife, but a doctor roughly pushed him out, making it very clear that Jellal wasn't welcome in the OR. The last sight he'd seen of his beautiful wife was her lying in the cot, pale and sickly looking, her vibrant hair splayed around her head like a halo.

The news had spread, and several of the other Fairy Tail members had rushed over to the hospital: Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Mira, and Laxus. They happened across Meredy, who was in town for a visit, and she'd raced to the hosptial as well. They were all currently seated behind Jellal, their eyes glued onto his tense and still form as he stands guard at the door.

No one had tried to pull him away from his sentry post. It is all too clear in his eyes: he'll stay there until Erza comes out of those doors, healthy and alive. He is a protective father and lover, and everyone knows that. No one will question him.

"It's going to be okay, Jellal," Meredy had whispered to him softly, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "She's stronger than she looks. You and I know that."

But if she had seen how deathly pale Erza had looked on the hospital gurney, she'd be choking down her words.

He closes his eyes. He can't lose her, he can't lose the baby. Not now, not ever. After everything that's happened, losing her will be the last straw.

He can't think this way. He has to believe she will be alright. That he will be able to see her bright, lively smile again, feel her small hand fit into his like a puzzle piece. That he will be able to hear her jovial, melodic voice, feel her luscious hair wind through his fingertips. She is his drug, his wine, his life and soul, and losing her will be losing everything about him.

A doctor comes out of the doors, and Jellal is immediately alert, as well as the others who have joined him, only to wilt as the doctor approaches a woman and informs her that her husband is alive and well, and that he suffered a minor heart attack but will suffer no consequences.

Erza will be alright, she will be alright. He has to believe that she'll pull through. She is Titania. She will be alright.

"Can I get you anything?" Laxus says, jolting Jellal out of his vigil. He nods his head down the hall, where Jellal remembers a vending machine sits promising junky but addicting food. Laxus' eyes mirror the concern in Jellal's, and the marked mage realizes that Laxus is equally worried for Erza's welfare. They all are.

Jellal shakes his head. "No thank you," he murmurs. He turns his head back towards the door. He refuses to eat, drink or sleep until he finds out if Erza is alright. She is suffering through so much pain right now, so he can wait. Nourishment doesn't mean a thing right now to him, not while Erza is beyond his reach and beyond his help.

There is nothing he can do but wait. And it is the worst feeling in the world. She is alone, and no doubt scared, and he is forced to wait outside while she goes through this process by herself. Damnit, he should be there with her! She shouldn't have to suffer through this alone!

Another fifteen minutes go by. Then a half hour. An hour. Two hours. The time drags on, but Jellal stays by the door, unmoving, like a statue. The others have long since fallen asleep, laying on each other like a pile of rocks. Lucy uses Natsu as her pillow, resting against his slumped over form, while Laxus and Mira lean against each other, their arms and legs intertwined. Gray stretches out across three chairs, and Meredy is stretched out across from him, using his back as a prop for her feet. They all tried to vigilantly stay awake, but one by one, had succumbed to fatigue as the hours passed.

And then, finally, at three in the morning, a doctor in bloody scrubs walks through the doors. His eyes find Jellal's and he strides towards the blue haired mage like the bringer of grave news.

Jellal stands frozen, holding his breath, as the doctor shakes his hand and introduces himself as Doctor Lates, a distant cousin to Hibiki Lates of Blue Pegasus. Then the doctor walks Jellal through the process of what happened over the last several hours. They had to perform a caesarean section on the baby, which caused massive internal bleeding inside Erza's body.

"Unfortunately, your wife lost an extreme amount of blood..."

 _No, it isn't possible. It can't be true. Erza is a fighter. She is strong. It couldn't possibly be true-_

"We tried to save her, sir, but..."

 _No._

"She lost too much blood, and most of her organs had already failed..."

 _No._

"I am very sorry for your loss, Mr. Fernandes."

He lets out a wrenching cry and dropped to his knees, tears pouring out of his eyes. Bellowing in pain and frustration, he cries his sorrows out to the heavens above as consoling hands try their best to assure him. But he is too far gone. Screaming and crying, he pushed for the doors, intending to find Erza, to bring her back.

"No, Erza," he gasped, his hands reaching out as familiar hands pulled him back. "Love, please,"

 _This isn't supposed to happen._

People are saying incoherent words to him now, but he can't focus. There is a tunnel of white light around him, sucking him into the vortex. Warmth surrounds him, and he breathes in the warm smell of strawberries as he closes his eyes.

* * *

"Jellal."

His eyes open blearily, focusing on a patch of golden light surrounding him. He blinks, unsure of what is going on, until he hears her voice.

"Jellal, look at me."

He shoots upward into a sitting position, blinking. He is surrounded by a golden glow, and seems to be suspended in the middle of it. And standing in front of him in a glowing white dress is his beloved Erza.

She is unblemished, her skin and body flawless. No blood mars her features, and she is smiling with a bitter sadness as he shakily stands and approaches her. Her hair is spiraling around her body like a scarlet cape, and her eyes shine with love and sorrow.

"Erza, love," Jellal croaks out, reaching out a hand. "This can't be...you... are you real?"

She takes his hand, and he pulls her close, silent tears racing down his face as he breathes in her familiar scent. He crushes her body to his, imprinting her in his flesh, so that he may never forget the map of her body under his hands. Because deep down, despite the denial, he knows.

"I'm sorry, Jellal," she whispers in his neck. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"Erza," he sobs, holding her close. "I-I can't lose you. Please, come back to me."

She pulls away from him so she can stare into his tear filled eyes. "I'll always love you," she says sadly. "Remember that alway."

"Erza-" he begins, but she leans up and presses a chaste kiss to his mouth, interrupting his sentence. Her hands tangle in his hair, and he winds up wrapping his arms around her slim waist, deepening the kiss until he is drowning himself in her.

The taste of her goodbye is evident in her kiss, her lips, her tongue. She kisses him passionately, wrapping herself around him until neither of them can breathe. Only then does she break free, gasping against his mouth, pressing her forehead against his.

"Erza," he whispers, tears leaking out of his eyes. She smiles gently and wipes them off his cheeks.

"It's time for you to go now, Jellal. This is no place for the living."

"No," he murmurs, but as she leans up to whisper her final farewell in his ear, his sight fades and he sinks into the black abyss.

* * *

He is told it's only been moments that he blacked out, but it feels like days. He is silent and brooding, salty tears making tracks down his face. He sits stoically while the doctors speak nonsense about bills, until Makarov arrives to relieve him. Only then, is he led to his wife's prone form, laying under a crisp white sheet in an empty hospital room.

The nurse leaves him alone, closing the door behind her with a quiet click. Jellal's mouth goes dry as he approaches the gurney, seeing the familiar blazing locks splayed out underneath the blanket.

Mavis help him, how can he do this? How can anyone do this?

He braces himself and pulls back the sheet, flinching upon seeing Erza's peaceful face.

She is beautiful, even in death. Her face is peaceful, calm; it almost seems like she is asleep. But he knows she is gone, can see it in the lack of life in her body. Even her hair seems less vibrant.

He kneels over her form, keening softly as his tears soak into the blanket. His head presses against her still chest, inhaling the fading scent of strawberries and vanilla. He clutches her head, kisses her lips, and holds her lose as his tears fall like glass upon her face.

He is damned. He was damned from the moment he was born. Everything he cherished, everything he loved, was taken from him as a child, and now Erza, the only person he will truly every love, is gone too. Fate has decreed that Jellal Fernandes must eternally suffer for his past sins.

But why couldn't he have been taken instead. A flawed and sinful man like he should not be living. She should be here, alive and well, and he should be in her place. Out of all the people in the world, she is the last person who should be dead.

He sets her head down and looks at her still form. "Erza Fernandes," he whispers. "Erza Scarlet. It doesn't matter what name you have, either way, you will always be my love, my wife, my soulmate. You were my life, love, and I don't want to lose you. I love you, Erza, and I will forever. I just wish we could have shared that forever together.

"As a boy, I always watched out for you. I promised myself that I'd be there to protect you, to be your guardian angel. But then I cast you out because I succumbed to the pleasures of darkness. I tried to kill you, kill your friends, and manipulated Millia, Sho, Simon, into believing you were evil, when in reality, it was me who was truly evil.

""Your words gave me courage; the light that would bring me back onto the right path again,." WIth those words, you once again became the reason why I lived. I wanted to protect you from further harm, but it was also the moment I realized that I was wholly, devastatingly, drastically in love with you."

His voice cracks and the tears threaten to overwhelm him, but he grits his teeth and cups her white cheek with a bloodied hand (he never washed away her blood, it was dried on his skin, his clothes). "I protected you through the Grand Magic Games, but was unable to protect you when Tartaros attacked. But you were so strong, pushing through the pain because you are the light that eradicates darkness. You know the weakness of man all too well, so you rose above it instead of succumbing to it."

He bends down and presses a kiss to her cheek. "Losing you is losing my life," he whispers against her rapidly cooling skin. "I can't breathe; there's a heavy weight on my chest that is suffocating me. This burning pain in my heart will never fade, just as my love for you will always continue to burn brightly."

He kisses her lips one final time, running his hands through her hair, her cheeks, her eyelashes. " _I love you, Erza Scarlet Fernandes."_

With a final look at his beautiful, comatose wife, he bids a last farewell and draws the sheet over her face.

* * *

When he enters the hall, the nurse is waiting patiently for him outside the door. She greets him quietly, pointing him down the hall to another room. "There's someone waiting for you," she whispers, and Jellal nods numbly, the tears still pouring down his face. With jerky, shaking steps, he follows her down to the doorway, entering when she opens it and stepping into the quiet room beyond.

"She is quite fine," says the nurse as she leads him to the bundled lump lying in a basket. "Healthy and beautiful, if not a tad small. But she is quite the strong baby. She'll pull through with a little TLC."

Jellal approaches the bundle, his eyes widening as he takes in the little redhead sleeping soundly in a swath of blankets. She is beautiful, all porcelain skin and chubby cheeks. Tiny hands balled in fists grip the blanket, and her mouth is puckered in a puzzled frown, curious in sleep,

"Meet your daughter, Mr. Fernandes," the nurse says gently. She gives him a tiny pat on the shoulder before backing away, going to stand by the door to give him his well-deserved privacy.

"Hello," he whispers, reaching down to pick up his daughter. She stirs, blinking open forest eyes that swim with confusion. Jellal takes in the beautiful eyes and her crimson hair. He sees Erza in her, everywhere. The beauty, the hair, the lips. But her eyes are his.

He hugs the baby close to him, pressing his cheek against her warm head. She gurgles and coos, one fist latching onto a strand of Jellal's hair. Jellal inhales her scent, smelling strawberries, and let's the tears flow.

"I will take good care of you," he whispers in her tiny ear, despite the fact that she can't understand what he is saying. "No matter what happens, papa will always be here to protect you."

And as he lets the tears flow, he whispers in her ear the last word Erza murmured to him before she was gone forever.

"Akane."

 _Brilliant Crimson._

* * *

 **A/N: you guys are probably going to kill me. To defend myself, you never specified exactly how the baby's birth should go...**

 **Anyway, thanks for the request. Hope you liked it. Reviews are much appreciated.**

 **See ya soon. Happy Writing!**

 **-Wolf**


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